Why are people so shocked about how quickly Christmas comes round? It's been on the cards for ages!
A pantomime horse walks into a bar. Barman says, "Pint?" Horse say, "No, two halves."
Christmas is the worst time to be on a diet because of all the carolies!
What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug!
Where does Santa do his Christmas shopping? Tesc-ho-ho-ho!
Who looks after Santa when he's not well? The National Elf Service!
How do you know if Santa has been in your shed? You have 3 extra hoes!
What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal one? The Christmas alphabet has no 'L'!
Where did the three Wise men buy their gifts? From the Lidl donkey!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? Christmas Quackers!
And I'll just leave you with the hope that all your festive pizzas be deep pan, crisp and even!
Thanks to The Huffington Post and The Telegraph for the joke inspiration!